My Breast Cancer Journal

Malignant breast lump or benign tumor? What’s in my left breast?

About me

Hello everyone! I’m Dang.

 Thank you for dropping by.  Welcome to my humble zone.

I’m a breast cancer patient fighting for my rights to live. I created to show that BIG C is not the end of the world. But a beginning of a fight and a new life. I encourage those who are at the same shoes to fight even if you feel exhausted, even your wallet was drained. That, there are reason to fight back and a reason not to give up. Cheers!

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It was one evening of 2017 when my youngest kid was preparing our bed to sleep. We don’t sleep together normally because I’m worried about bumping my breast while sleeping. But who will refuse for the sweet request of my li’l kid? Until in the middle of the night, my breast was hit by his knee. It was so painful that I want to shout. And before my very eyes, I feel I have something in my breast. A suspicious malignant breast lump that grows rapidly. 

The first thing that I did was to rush to the hospital, took some medical advice and an ultrasound.

After some test, I found out that I have 2 mm lumps at 9 o’clock area, and 1 little lump beside it. So, it was 2 lumps that were detected.

I was not scared that I can have breast cancer at that time because we don’t have any medical history regarding cancer. And I’m a fan of healthy food in the family. The doctor said the lump at 9 o’clock is benign, and he is not sure about the other one. So he recommended me of a core needle biopsy. But I was scared of that thing. I never experience having confined at the hospital in my 40 years of existence, much more on that biopsy. I’m not familiar with that procedure plus adding up some hearsay that it may worsen my lumps and become cancer patients. So I neglected the advice, and forget everything I did in the hospital.

Painful left arm and back

painful left arm and back cause by malignant tumor on my left breast

It was 2 years that passed. The suspicious malignant breast lumps become bigger than before. It doubled or tripled its size. I decided to come to the hospital and see my doctor’s advice. I passed through a series of ultrasound, and he recommended again the core needle biopsy. While doing the ultrasound, the doctor keeps on shaking his head. He compared the previous result and found that the lump is bigger than before. He realized that another lump was developed at 3 o’clock position other than 9 o’clock. He added that there are multiple lymph nodes in my underarm. He is so sad about the result. He recommended to urgently see the doctor for further examination. But I refused. I know of myself that it is not worse. I’m healthy and fine doing things normally.

Until I felt the pain in my left arm that I don’t tell anyone. I believed it was caused by bad sleeping habits.

Even the result of my ultrasound is not good, I always find myself to be happy and ignore the negative feelings I had. But I promised myself that I will do the biopsy to know exactly what is inside. Is it cancerous or not?  

Facing my Fear

It was the 26th of June 2019. I’m scheduled for CNB ( core needle biopsy). While waiting I’m so nervous. This is the first time that I will undergo a minor operation. The heart is beating fast and my stomach is rumbling inside. I feel so uncomfortable. I realized that I’m weak. I’m not that brave woman that I always portray. I prayed to God to give me some strength to face this situation. I ask for the help of the Almighty. No one can indeed help you in your grief, sadness, and problems except God. My last resort is to sing praises for Him. And it helps me a lot. I was comforted and relaxed before the nurse called me for my turn.

My last resort is to sing praises to God to help me conquer my fear doing Core needle biopsy
Fear of core needle biopsy

To know more about core needle biopsy click here.

Inside the operating room

I was advised to take off my clothes and wear the one they gave. I’m not alone in the room, there are two or three people that undergone operation too. The one captured my attention. The patient is still sleeping but the floor and his bed were flooded with blood. I felt so scared at that time. My heart beats fast again. And I cannot breathe for some reason, I don’t know why. Maybe a nervous comes again. As I lay down on my bed I prayed to God and ask for HIS help and sing a song that let me calm.

When the doctor comes in, She asks me how long these lumps are inside. She is trying to convince me to relax and not be afraid. She showed me the tools that will be using, she let me hear the sound of the tool so that I may not be surprised. Maybe she wants me to calm down.

As she is talking, she injected anesthesia. It was painful. Then after that, she inserted the tool. But there is something unusual. I feel the flowing of a warm liquid. It was blood!

I was shocked. I asked myself, Why there’s a lot of blood? Is it normal? I know that this operation is intended for getting sample tissues, so meaning it’s not bloody like this. 

I asked the doctor what has happened, and she said she hit the artery.

Too many attempts to get the samples

She inserted the tool to get the sample. This should be one or two times attempt. But no. Not in my case. She inserted the tool and try to get the samples for 12 times. She said that she only got fats and not the right specimen. While doing this, the blood continuously flowing. I told myself that I need to be brave about this. And while she’s trying to do it, the blood is flashing on her face. I told her to continue and do it faster because I feel too much blood rushing. My hands are shaking and I feel so cold. Maybe a combination of scare and nervous. Until finally she is satisfied with the right specimen she got. But the blood is uncontrollable and continuously flowing out.

The Machine

She called her assistant to get the electrocautery or the argon beam coagulator. It is a machine that quickly seals off bleeding vessels. And I can describe it as a welding machine. It binds and connects the arteries to stop the bleeding. I feel the heat that comes from it. There is also a board, that they inserted at my back before using that machine. After a series of attempts, the blood is still running. Maybe the doctor is not lucky today, as her other patients got a bloody minor operation too. Maybe she is exhausted and tired. I told her that I’m still ok, and nothing to worry about. She tried it again until the blood stops. She pressed it and put up some gauze and tape to secure the wounds. Finally, the bloody biopsy was finished.

The Trauma

After the anesthesia was gone, the pain is unbearable. I bought the pain reliever that the doctor gave. She also gave me a medicine that stops the bleeding in case the blood continues. I refuse to buy it because it is already controlled. I just save my money for another medicine. The wound is painful. I have seen the blood cloth around it. Maybe it’s the muscle trauma for taking many times collecting the tissue. I spare 2 days for not taking a bath to let the wound heal. I saw a puss that accumulating. But I don’t worry at all.

I ate a lot of raw garlic for antibiotics. As I ‘am a fan of natural medicine.

I need to wait for 15 days to get the result of my biopsy. I’m hoping that this is not a cancer journey. But in case it is, I have a plan for it.

The Planning

While waiting for a result, I build a plan on what are the things to do in case it is cancer. I’m not worried about it, because I know that cancer can be cured.

Plan A- The result is CANCER

  • Homeopathic Medicine- This is my choice in surviving. I want to be cured naturally as God-given advice. No operation. Just directly kill the cancer cells. Don’t feed them with sugar and keep the cancer cells hungry. ( note: sugar is the food of the cancer cells) Take away all sugar, and start to take raw vegetables and more seasoned fruits.

You may want to read about the power of Apricot seeds against cancer? Click here

Plan B- Benign result

  • Proceed to surgery for taking out that lumps and continue my healthy diet.


As you see, I’m a positive person. I always look for a positive side in a negative situation.

My experience in a public hospital is not that worse at all. I believed that the doctors and staff were doing great despite their stressful work. In this situation, your presence of mind is very important especially when you feel that there is something wrong with the procedure.  The public hospital is not way too bad to go to. I chose the public hospital and save my money for the next round of medication. If I were diagnosed with cancer, I have a long treatment journey. And I want to be prepared financially.

If this malignant breast lump turns out cancerous, I will stick to the plan using natural medicine.

Natural healing, homeopathic, and Holistic healing is still my choice.

As the saying goes in Revelation 22:2 King James Version (KJV)

In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, was there the tree of life, which bare twelve manners of fruits, and yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.

I will update this article soon.